It’s been a whole year since I started Balsamic Scrutiny. My hopes in the beginning of this blog were to have it be a place where I could cook and bake clean food and discover more about myself. So, as I reflect on this last year I can definitely say I became uninspired to write. After I moved out, I began working two jobs and had little time or desire to put towards my writing, cooking, and baking. I mean, don’t get me wrong. In the last 7 months I have gone almost every day eating an abundant salad loaded with kale, tomatoes, avocado, and the works with of course my balsamic vinegar. I just simply chucked the idea to write about the salads or any scrutinizing I was doing in my life. I believe the idea chucking began occurring because I was ashamed to write about what was really going on in my life. My confidence over the last 7 months hasn’t been where it usually is, it’s been down. Partly because I didn’t make more time for myself, and began floating around at sea in loneliness, dogma inspired independence, and drowning in others’ ideas of my future, gifts, desires, and abilities instead of my own. People say 23 is the best year of your life, but it honestly has been really hard. I feel like I keep having inner battles of what and where I want to be in life, and become tangled in the web of society’s expectations and my own. I take pride in the fact that I have defined passions- and I know what I love, as well as what makes me happy. I feel ashamed in the fact that I have rarely made time for them. So, this bull has to stop. I’m so tired of hearing everyone’s opinions and thoughts about me, my life, and who I am. I regretfully never listen to my own inner yearnings or my own hearts desires in life. Instead I have just continued to jump rope with my friends, Opinion and Judgement. Screw that. We are no longer friends and I’ve made new friends, Courage and Risk. When I do not compare myself to others, I can see my own gifts. The pattern of looking to others’ for feedback about how we should be is ingrained at such an early age, from the way we are graded in school, to how we attempt to fit in.
In 2012 I traveled to Poland, Czech Republic, France, Italy, Amsterdam, Victoria, B.C., Arizona, and Camano Island. I started working full time, dancing between two jobs that I am head over heals in love with. I found a new home, and started the chapter of living on my own. I accessorized my face with glasses, my feet with boots, and my heart with an overwhelming amount of gratitude. I visited jaw dropping beautiful places in my own neighborhood; tulip fields, blueberry patches, Mt. Rainier, Discovery Park at low tide, Snoqualmie Pass feeling fresh powder sprinkle on my face, witnessed my first Sunrise, went Paddle Boarding for the first time, and went antiquing with my Grammy. I celebrated Poppy’s life. I celebrated St. Patrick’s Day by running a 5k with my mom, celebrated my Dad’s 60th Birthday, my Mom’s birthday, and my another year of good health! I grew in my relationship with God, with my family, in happiness, in freedom, in love, in my addiction to chocolate, in my love for food, in clarity, and in peace. I grew in friendships and with strangers through conversation, coffee dates, photography, and long phone calls. I went on dates, interviews, runs, walks with Remy, and hikes to Cougar Mountain, Rattlesnake Ledge, Poo Poo Point, Mt. Rainier, Summit Lake, Coal Creek Falls, Snow Lake, Lake Serene, Granite Mountain, Bandera Mountain, Gothic Basin, Wallace Falls, Talapus Lake, and dozens of walks around Greenlake! 2012 was marvelous. Beyond thankful for the last 365 days! Beyond blessed.
For the past 5 weeks I’ve been trying to get a doctor appointment in a specific clinic. The patient care coordinator at the clinic has been nothing more than helpful, courteous, and has always followed up with me in regards to questions/concerns I have had! Over the last 5 weeks she has literally been a huge blessing and I cannot even imagine having to talk to anyone else on the phone besides her. So, when I finally had my doctor appointment at the clinic today, I knew I had to bring her a little gift. The appointment was a little late so she had already left, but I asked her co worker to set it on her desk so she will receive it first thing in the morning. She probably doesn’t even realize how much of a positive impact she had on me. Guess what I got her?! Chocolate truffles. :)
I feel like today was overflowing with kindness wherever I went! It was almost like I had this contagious smile on my face as I moved from one place to the next. I started my kindness rhythm by giving to my church, made cookies for my new roommates, bought Starbucks for the person behind me at the drive through, found myself in the card section buying a thank you card for
someone who has positively affected me this week, and to top it off, I received the most heart warming phone call tonight. Remember on the first day of 30 days of intentional acts of Kindness, (December 1st) I made a blanket and delivered it to the Senior Living Home? I received a call from them tonight! Here’s the message:
Today was incredible.
I love the people I work with. One of my co-workers wasn’t feeling well throughout the week, and today she wasn’t at work. During my lunch I decided to make her a little card and put it in her mailbox to hopefully make her feel better on Monday. It’s the simple things that make a difference!
Later today I was getting ingredients with my friend to make Gingerbread houses at the grocery store. Upon arriving at the check out, there was a staggering amount of grocery bags filled with food, asking anyone to pay $10 for a bag to help end hunger. It was calling my name! Of course, I bought one.
When I arrived home, my heart filled with happiness! Remember the man I made cookies for yesterday? He had left me a note that read:
When you give, you get.
Is there someone in your life that may need a little pick me up during the holidays? Sometimes we all do! I know of someone that I don’t speak to quite often, but knew he would be the recipient of my intentional act of kindness for today! I decided to bake him some cookies and write him a little note, too.
Think back to the best doctor appointment you have had. When was it? Do you remember what they did that made it so memorable? Do you remember who it was? Today, I had the best doctor appointment! I’ve had a lot of them, but today was just so spectacular! It was my first appointment visiting an OBGYN, and let me tell you I would go back everyday if I left feeling so happy. My new doctor had the best bedside manner I’ve ever experienced, was personal, thoughtful, warm, funny, (you definitely need to be as an OBGYN), and had a sharp memory. She made me feel like she had been waiting for our appointment all day long! Long story short, when I got home I had to write her a thank you card. She was just that amazing, and left that much of a foot print in my heart. My intentional act of kindness goes to my Dr! In the form of a thank you card.